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== Sexe du Roi ==

En [[Angleterre]], le Roi est une Reine.
La Reine est Philippe d'Edinburgh. Il n'a ni [[argent]], ni pouvoir.

Le Roi se différencie de la [[Reine]] par son pouvoir, mais aussi parce qu'il porte des [[chapeau]]x et des robes à fleurs. Selon la Constitution coutumiere britannique, le Roi n'a pas le droit d'appeller les [[noirs]] des sauvages. Ce n'est pas faute de le penser, mais le Roi a un devoir dit de "non-disage", qui fait qu'il ne doit jamais dire ce qu'il pense.

http://ardkor.info/uploaded/18.jpg

Il est autorisé, à contrario, mais seulement à priori, car ce serait trop tard si c'était à posteriori, à penser ce qu'il dit, en de rares occasions, mutatis mutandis.

Le Roi n'a guere d'affinites avec la princesse [[Diana]], mais la [[Reine]] n'en a "quefoutre", car elle-meme a connu ses moments de doutes et d'adultère entre [[adulte]]s, à tort, et surtout à travers, avec des [[homme]]s paralysés du cote droit.

== Tenue d'Apparat, Protocole, Que faire si vous étiez invité par un Roi ? ==

*Il est d'usage, pour tout roi qui se respecte, de porter au moins une couronne, dont la taille est généralement inversement proportionnelle à la beauté du pays sur lequel il [[règne]]. A titre d'exemple, la couronne du Roi d'[[Angleterre]] est gigantesque, celle du Roi de [[Belgique]] est elle aussi tout à fait hors de proportions. Le Roi de [[Grèce]] a une toute petite couronne, mais c'est aussi parce qu'il a pas eu la fève.

http://ardkor.info/uploaded/couronne5.jpg

Couronne de Roi standard

*Dans tout les cas , évitez de porter vous aussi une couronne lors de l'entretien. Loin de vous être gré de respecter ses coutumes, le roi vous en voudra de lui rappeler le ridicule de sa situation.

*On ne sert pas de frites à un Roi car les frites, c'est des patates, et les patates, c'est pour les cochons.

*On ne gratte pas son nez en présence d'un Roi car le grattage de nez est un signal royal. Se gratter le nez en présence d'un Roi signifie qu'on est pret à se déguiser en [[boulanger]].

*Il est de mauvais aloi de dire "ta mère" à un Roi car la mère du Roi, c'est la [[Reine]].

== Reine-mère ==

Créature immortelle qui partage certaines caractéristiques avec la [[tortue]], notamment la lenteur, la longévité, et un visage ridé et rabougri. Une [[rumeur]] circule selon laquelle la reine-mère se serait écriée "''il ne peut en rester qu'un !''" à la mort de la princesse [[Diana]].

http://ardkor.info/uploaded/turtle_watch_d.jpg

la famille royale

== Le Roi est mort, vive le Roi ! ==

[[Cri]] poussé, tous les 21 Janvier que [[Dieu]] fait, par les militants de l'Action Francaise qui n'en finissent plus de crier au loup alors tout le monde sait qu'il est mort, le roi, puisque la [[reine]] a essayé de se faire la malle avec le mitron pendant que le roi mangeait ses dents sur l'échafaud et que [[Robespierre]] plantait des arbres aux Tuileries.

== Cris alternatifs a suggérer aux maurrassiens un peu marginaux ==

* La Reine est morte, Vive les moules !
* Le mitron est mort, Qui l'a tué ?

[[Category:Profession]][[Category:Sociologie]]

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